The Path of Patience
Publishing my third book has been an exercise in patience and personal growth. While the editing process flowed smoothly with my trusted professional, finding reliable help for other aspects proved challenging. The illustrator’s timeline doubled, but that was merely a prelude to what awaited me with the book design process.
The First Challenge
Seeking efficiency, I initially hired a designer who could handle both formatting and cover design. He seemed the most communicative among all candidates on the freelance platform. However, once hired, days passed with unanswered messages and hesitant responses just before the deadline, it became clear he had likely overestimated his capabilities. To his credit, he graciously acknowledged his limitations, and we parted amicably.
Testing Times
His replacement, however, presented a different challenge – one that would test my patience and trigger unexpected reflection. Her sporadic communication and selective responses forced me to abandon my carefully planned timeline. Project progressed in slow drips, at her choosing.
As someone who deeply values accountability and clear communication, this situation really challenged my core values. When promised deliverables remained incomplete ten days past the deadline, I found myself at a loss. My natural inclination toward control confronted a situation where I had none.
Lessons in Letting Go
Through meditation and self-reflection, I made several discoveries:
First, I learned to release what I couldn’t change. My frustration wouldn’t accelerate her timeline or improve her communication. While maintaining cordial and respectful interactions – elements within my control – I adapted to her pace.
Second, I caught myself crafting narratives to explain her behaviour. Though my mind craved explanations, I realized these stories, even compassionate ones, were groundless. If I can’t always fully understand someone I’ve lived with for almost 30 years, how could I presume to know a stranger’s circumstances or her responses? It is futile to speculate!
Each time I checked the platform to find another missed deadline, I observed the disappointment rising in my heart. By acknowledging these feelings and letting them go, I experienced a kind of freedom. Peace returned.
The Final Test
This morning, these lessons crystallized when she requested approval before releasing the files without watermarks – essentially holding the final product hostage. It was unprecedented in my experience with freelancers, as I typically approve final deliveries knowing there’s no recourse if they don’t complete the work. Yet, instead of resistance, I chose trust.
Choosing Trust
Her map of the world had taught her this protection was necessary. Rather than judge her approach, I decided to embrace risk and extend trust first. This choice aligned with my deepest conviction: life flows more smoothly when we trust in humanity’s fundamental goodness. This philosophy has served me well, making life not just more peaceful, but more efficient too.
Looking back, what started as a frustrating publishing experience has reinforced one of life’s simplest truths: when we release our need to control and choose trust instead, we create space for peace. While it’s not always easy, and sometimes comes with risks, this approach consistently proves more rewarding than clinging to judgment and control. My new book, The STELLAR Career Guide, is now published and the process is soon complete, but the lesson will stay with me far longer than any printed page.
Journal Prompt: When have you chosen trust over control? How did it change your experience of the situation?
